It can be easy to get one perspective or viewpoint in our head. It can sometimes be difficult to get away from that viewpoint or even to realize that our perspective is somewhat skewed or even causing our research problem.
I knew my grandparents had two stillborn children and that it impacted them significantly. I learned early on in my family history research that I was not to ask my grandparents about “the babies.” It wasn’t until decades later, after my children were grown that I realized something that should have been obvious: those babies impacted my Mom as well.
My brother and I are two years apart in age. I don’t remember Mom being pregnant with him. He’s my only sibling, so I have no memory of my Mom every being pregnant. I don’t remember his birth. My memory is that he was always around. I have no memory of waiting for his arrival.
It wasn’t that way for Mom. She was old enough to know that a baby sibling was on the way (she was 5 and 12 at the time). The deaths of her baby brother and sister at birth impacted her as well. Maybe her telling me not to mention it or ask about it wasn’t just in reference to her parents, but to her as well.
But for whatever reason, that didn’t dawn on me until much later in life.
Think about how that family event may have impacted everyone. And also remember that fate and fortune likely have provided you with life experiences that, even unintentionally, can impact how we view and interpret things.