[Genealogy] Taking It to the Grave and More

[Michael John Neill]

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19 March 2026

** Taking It to the Grave
** Rooting Around For Farmers
** LandLess Farmers

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Taking it to the Grave
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I made the comment once in a genealogical forum that there were family
stories that I know that I’m taking to my grave.

You would have thought I went on an expletive-laden rant denouncing
motherhood, apple pie, and cute puppies. I didn’t. I love my mother, like
apple pie, and am reasonably fond of cute puppies.

I meant the statement then and I still stand by it. I do think there are
stories that we can take to our grave and still be considered a genealogist.

I heard many statements similar to the following:

You’re hiding the truth.

Everyone deserves to know all the details.

People have the right to know everything.

I’m not suggesting “hiding” a truth about a parentage. I’m not suggesting
lying about a birth date. I’m not suggesting omitting a mention of a
marriage from the family history. I’m not suggesting one omit known
instances of alcoholism, mental illness, various other crimes,
“dysfunctionalities” (a word I don’t really care for), etc. so that future
family are unaware of those potential problems. There’s something to be
said for knowing these things.

I’m not suggesting that one only tell the positive things and paint an
unrealistic picture. Leaving out things I have discovered in a public
record is pointless and makes it look like I am unable to locate and
transcribe material. I’m not suggesting that either. I’ve recorded stories
of “early babies,” arrests, disagreements, suicides, “scandalous” behavior,
etc. in my family history. Some of these things are a matter of record if
one chooses to look. A few are not.

But the stories I’m not certain of? The things that I was told but that I
did not witness first hand? Those are things I likely will leave out,
particularly if the story seems biased towards one person or group of
people. Many times these stories fall into the category of gossip. Some may
say I should tell everything and let others evaluate those stories and make
their own decisions.  I’m leaving the salacious details of a certain
relative’s dalliances to fall into the dustbin of history. The fact that I
was told they happened (and possibly resulted in a child) is recorded in my
notes. Some specific details of the resulting fight aren’t necessary for me
to repeat. I was not there to witness them. It is sufficient for me to say
that there was a “falling out” between two individuals as a result.

Do I mention that a relative had a favorite four letter term (highly
derogative in nature)  that she used to refer to another relative?  No. I
can say that the relative was not very fond of this relative, did “not
think much of her,” and they didn’t socialize, but the specific phrases are
not necessary. They don’t add to any genealogical knowledge. Sometimes
repeating the story can perpetuate a family squabble that needed to die
year ago.

Again, I’m not saying don’t mention that the squabble took place. I’m not
saying don’t mention what brought it about (if you know what brought it
about and are not just repeating speculation). But some of the details of
the fight that took place on the front lawn–those might be better left out.

Chances are we all have a few secrets we’d like to take to our grave.



*Rooting Around for Farmers  *



Learn more about your rural ancestors with our hour-long presentation
*Immediate download–handout included $25*
<https://michael-john-neill.dpdcart.com/cart/add?product_id=221751&method_id=241699>


*Michael shares 30 years* *of experience researching his* *own farming
ancestors*

This presentation will discuss sources that should be fully utilized in a
researcher’s search for more about their farming ancestor. We will look at
sources and materials that provide direct and indirect information about
your farming ancestor and their farming operation. Local, state, and
federal sources will be covered in addition to non-governmental records.
There is information available to help you gain more insight into your
farming ancestor’s life and lifestyle. Material will be applicable to farm
landowners in addition to tenant farmers and farm laborers.   This session
presumes a basic understanding of local records, including land records

Get “Rooting Around for Farmers” today*—**webinar purchase–immediate
download (handout included)*
<https://michael-john-neill.dpdcart.com/cart/add?product_id=221751&method_id=241699>

*Farmers: Tenants and Laborers*

Those who worked in American agriculture but did not own their own farm are
more difficult to research than those who owned real estate. In this
presentation, we focus on farmers and farm families, but concentrate on
those who did not own farms of their own.

Tenant farmers and farm laborers comprise a significant proportion of those
involved in American agriculture. The challenge is that they tended to
leave fewer records than did landowning farmers. In this presentation we
will look at specific challenges involving these families and what records,
sources, and methods should be utilized in order to research them as
completely and effectively as possible. While there are never any
guarantees in genealogy research, there are ways that we can maximize the
chance we find as much about our non-landowning farm ancestors as possible.

The presentation will be given with the premise that the person being
researched did not own any real estate.

Concepts covered include:

   - Determining the residence as precisely as possible.
   - Documenting others with whom the ancestor interacted.
   - Documenting moves and migrations where possible.
   - Determining if the same person has been located.
   - Strategies to locate as many referencea to the ancestral name as
   possible.

This is not a live presentation although those who purchase the
presentation before its release are encouraged to submit questions for
possible inclusion in the presentation. This presentation focuses on
research in the United States.

Purchase includes video of presentation and handout. Immediate download for
$2
<https://michael-john-neill.dpdcart.com/cart/add?product_id=247703&method_id=270569>
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Michael John Neill
Genealogy Tip of the Day
PO Box 17, Henderson, IL 61439
http://www.genealogytipoftheday.com
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