[Genealogy] That New Cousin and Her Cross

[Michael John Neill]

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9 August 2026

** That New Cousin
** Full-Text Search webinar
** Her Cross

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That New Cousin
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That New Cousin

To call him a new cousin is incorrect because I know exactly who he is or
as much as one can know someone from a few newspaper references and a
locked down Facebook profile.

I could stand right next to him in public and not realize who he was. His
name is only familiar to me because it appeared in the obituary of his
father, a third cousin of my mother. He used his real name on his
AncestryDNA results and it took me all of two minutes to confirm his
genealogical relationship to me.

He knows his relatives back to his great-grandfather about whom he knows
very little. The additional details he has are essentially incorrect–except
for one nugget of truth that had been wrapped in some “fluffy facts” over
the intervening years. I gently pointed out the correction without ever
saying that he was incorrect. Sometimes that goes over better than a
response that begins with “You are SO wrong about the details of MY family,
where on earth did you get this nonsense.” On second thought a soft
approach always goes over better than that–although it is not always
successful.

I also debate how much to tell a person I know about them in a preliminary
communication with them. Being from a small town, I don’t find it odd when
someone says to me “I know who you are, who your parents are, where your
family has lived, etc. etc. *and* it’s nice to meet you.” Usually if
someone knows that much about my past, chances are I know their
name–usually. This relative had no idea of who I was as when I mentioned my
grandparent (through whom we share a connection), he had never heard of
them.

I’m always concerned of putting a DNA match off by offering too much detail
too quickly and overwhelming them initially. I find it goes a little better
if I let them indicate how strong their interest is.

Of course it can be frustrating for the match to act totally uninterested
in our shared history and then to see they’ve posted error after error
about our common ancestors online in trees at *Ancestry.com* or the online
tree at *FamilySearch*, but that’s another story


--------------
Full-Text Searching Webinar


No Monkeying Around!
[image: image.png]
** FamilySearch Full-Text Webinar August 2026 Version Released

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-------------------
Her Cross
-------------------

It’s common for someone to make “their mark” on a document when they are
not able to sign it. It usually means the signer is illiterate, but they
also could simply be unable to physically sign their name.

This document, from the probate file of Benjamin Butler in Vernon County,
Missouri, contains a request from the widow to have another person
appointed administrator of her husband’s estate. Fortunately this document
clearly indicates Nancy Jane is the widow of Benjamin Butler.

What’s a little unusual is that “her mark” is referred to as “her cross.”
Personally I don’t think there is any real significance to the use of the
phrase and it probably was simply the personal preference of the writer of
the document.

But it’s always interesting to note when a word or a phrase is not the one
a person would expect.



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Michael John Neill
Genealogy Tip of the Day
PO Box 17
Henderson, IL 61439
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