If we have not experienced some of the things our family members in the past did, it is difficult to say how it might have really impacted them. It’s hard to say how you would react to something that has never happened to you. One can empathize, but sometimes it’s hard to understand when you’ve not really experienced it yourself.
The last two of my grandmother’s three children did not survive birth. I’m not certain how I would have reacted had I been in that same situation and the “babies” (as they were called) were not discussed or asked about. I have other family members (distant and not-so-distant) who had similar experiences, including a great-great-grandma whose son was murdered in Kansas City in 1921. I’m certain that impacted her as well.
Sometimes life events such as these can impact a family for some time. Are there any events that may have made a lasting impact on your ancestral family and how they interacted with each other?
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6 Responses
How should a full term stillbirth be recorded in family records when there is only an official government death certificate?
I record the date of birth and the date of death as the same date. That may not be biologically accurate in all cases, but it’s what I feel most comfortable doing given the situation. I can also look at the dates in my database and realize that I’m not “missing” a date of birth.
That seems to be a good solutions for the reasons you mentioned. I know it is a very disturbing fact that some governments only record death certificate for the still born life. Not having a birth certificate adds to the heartache that the parents fell at this tragic time.
At age 62 I just learned that I had an uncle who spent time in prison for molesting a child. It just was never talked about.
That falls into that category of things they never talk about at all or occasionally talk about privately only among those who already knew about it.
We all have had things happen in our lives that turn the direction we go on that highway of life. One incident can change that direction completely. I believe we can never judge others since we very rarely know the “complete” story of their life experiences. As family historians, we must never use the judgement standards of today while thinking we “know” what past generations went through in their lives.