Genealogists rely on obituaries, but remember that they can be incomplete or unclear, especially when the deceased (or their parents or children) have been married more than once. We’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating as many of us utilize obituaries in an attempt to get the “tree” down to as recent a time as possible and to analyze our DNA matches.
The obituary for a recently deceased relative indicated they had four siblings. They actually had ten. The only ones listed in the obituary were three full siblings of the deceased and a half-sibling from their mother’s second marriage. That distinction wasn’t made (as it is often not in obituaries). The deceased had six other half siblings through their father.
When the obituary is for someone the researcher is familiar with, the omissions are easy to figure out and the reasons for omissions are sometimes known. When the subject of the obituary is a distant relative–or not even a relative at all–the omissions are often not known.
Personally I am always hesitant to put as “iron solid” relationships as given in one individual obituary, particularly if I’m not already somewhat familiar with the family. I don’t want to attach a child to the wrong set of parents. If it’s the first obituary I’ve found for a member of the family, I try and locate as many others as possible to see if I can discern the relationships a little better–particularly when it looks like there were multiple marriages or relationships that generated children.
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I saw an obituary once that listed two people as children and they had the same last name as the deceased. What the obit did not say is they were actually children of the deceased person’s sibling and that they had been adopted by the deceased who actually had no children of his own. The thing that confounded it was the birth parents of the children were still living. It took a little research to sort this out.
I recently wrote the obituary for my mother. I carefully included birth & death years for those who had predeceased her and even included the daughter of a beloved step-brother and special friends. However, I (yes, this genealogist person!!) completely forgot to include her maternal uncle’s children and her paternal aunt’s daughter – all living! After the obituary was published, I couldn’t believe that I had done it. All have forgiven me but still………… Future readers of it will wonder about them. Were they estranged? Moved and were lost to the family? And I tried so hard! So, it happens and, yeah, you need to recognize that the writer might not be accurately portraying the existing familial connections.
I found an obituary for my great grandmother’s half brother. It listed a different wife and children than what I knew from census and marriage records. After some research, I began gently contacting parties I met through DNA matches etc. It turns out he had two wives at the same time! You never know!
I saw an obituary for my sister’s father-in-law.
It was written by the daughter and only mentioned her. Not her surviving mother, nor any of her siblings. And not published in the city’s paper, but the local Jewish paper.
I didn’t need any of the information from the obit, as I knew the family, but this would have been so confusing to anyone else!