It’s great to ask a relative questions about your family history. Having a list of questions to ask can also make the interview process easier. But it is worth remembering that the details of an event may be remembered over a period of time and not necessarily during a one-hour interview. The interviewee may remember significant pieces of information long after the question and answer session is over.
And no matter how complete or comprehensive the list of questions seems to be, there can always be aspects of a specific family’s history that is not included. There will be questions the interviewee does not think to ask.
One way to ascertain this information is to maintain a relationship with the individual if at all possible–it can be via email, some form of instant messaging, actual telephone calls, handwritten letters, etc. A relative who is a Facebook friend may see your post about something tangentially related to your shared family history only to have it jog their mind about something they had seemingly forgotten forever and you had never even thought to ask about.
Keeping the communication going can help you to locate more information or at the very least allow the interviewee to provide additional details about an event they were only partially able to recollect initially.
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How very true! I also found some older men were more comfortable talking with my husband rather than me, a younger woman. Many of the questions are memories from long, long ago that they hadn’t thought of forever so it does take time. Once we were visiting the youngest child of the youngest brother of my grandfather (the oldest) and wouldn’t be in the area for many years. I asked him to tell me about his father thinking it would give me information of that generation. “I don’t want to talk about him.” (Long pause) “He beat me (another pause) about 60 years ago and I’ve never forgiven him for that”. I was devastated. My husband asked him about his work and the next thing I knew was they were talking about his growing up years! I kept very quiet and listened.
One of the things I found very useful to ask when discussing family history with older relatives was – is there anything you’ve always wondered about and wished you knew more? Not only did that give me a new thread to follow and research but it gave the “perfect” opportunity to reach back out to them. A first cousin once removed told me she remembered having a certain cake every Tuesday and wished she had a recipe for it. I researched, found the recipe and the name of the bakery near where she had lived, and called her to share it. How I found it etc opened up a well spring of memory of the “old” neighborhood and family tradition. Another wondered what had caused her Uncle to return from WWII with ptsd. She knew his ship’s name. In researching that, all sorts of new doors opened.