She may be Grandma, but if I’m writing about her or identifying her on a picture, I need to be more specific. Referring to her as “Grandma” tells me who she is, but not someone who may encounter the reference after I’m no longer around. She should be referenced as Ida (Trautvetter) Neill or Dorothy (Habben) Ufkes, depending upon which of my grandmothers she is. Grandma Neill or Grandma Ufkes is not much better than Grandma.
Both of those titles are fluid in my family. In my lifetime, Grandma Neill started out as my father’s mother and then became my own mother. Grandma Ufkes was the same way–it was either my Granddad Ufkes’ mother or my Granddad Ufkes’ wife. Names make it more clear.
Also when writing, avoid using pronouns such as “he” and “she” unless the reference is crystal clear.
Your relationship to Grandma is important. But when identifying her, use her name. I never called my Grandma “Ida” to her face, when she was alive but otherwise I need to. Clarity depends upon it.
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