Your ancestor had relationships that did not generate records. It’s obvious when one thinks about it, but often something that we forget.

A relative of mine had a short-term boyfriend in the state of Iowa in the late 1870s that resulted in a pregnancy. She never married the father of the child. I only know his name because her subsequent marriage to  Civil War veteran resulted in her applying for a widow’s pension where she mentioned the previous relationship.

Another relative was “married” in the 1850s for less than a few months to a man who was temporarily guardian for her minor children. I suspect she was married to him (or acted like she was) because she signs his last name to some documents involving her first husband’s estate.

I just got lucky I was able to locate information on these relationships and it makes me wonder how many relationships leave no record at all.

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  1. Yes, I’m wondering. Looks like my Dad had a short term relationship that resulted in a pregnancy that produced twin boys. The mother married a man who claimed them as his own. DNA found my father was the father! How do I find that short relationship? No records that I can find.

    • DNA records often result in telling matches in others’ family trees even when we have little or no other information. Good luck, Gloria!

    • That may be difficult to establish. Did they have jobs or life experiences that would have brought them in contact with each other?

    • You could create a “relationship” that wasn’t a marriage. The key would be to have some evidence of the relationship–maybe a letter, the birth of a child without the couple being married, family stories, etc. Keep in mind that not all of these sources would be as accurate as the others.

      In one case I have a statement in a pension file that documents the relationship that resulted in the birth of a child. There was no birth certificate since it was too early and the parents never married.

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